{"id":1314,"date":"2015-06-26T16:06:10","date_gmt":"2015-06-26T23:06:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/calirose.com\/blog\/?p=1314"},"modified":"2015-07-27T00:52:37","modified_gmt":"2015-07-27T00:52:37","slug":"got-gas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/got-gas\/","title":{"rendered":"GOT GAS?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh dear. I know my semi-regular blogs have been, well,\u00a0not<\/em>… What can I say? It\u2019s busy-busy here in Culver City. But then something happens that I \u00a0just have to write about<\/em>.<\/p>\n

I go to Costco for gas.<\/p>\n

And my whole psychological spooky house loses a couple walls\u2026<\/p>\n

\"costco\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s early, before the big store rolls up the corrugated steel doors and a knot of eager shoppers push in with their giant carts. It\u2019s when the gasoline station is usually, shall we say,\u00a0mellow<\/em>.<\/p>\n

All the years I\u2019ve been driving my Saturn (yes a Saturn\u2026), I still have to look at the dash to remind myself which side the fuel tank is on. Oh yeah\u2026the right. Plenty of times I pull into the \u201cother\u201d lane and have to thread the gasoline thingy behind the rear antenna across the trunk to reach the hole. As I stand there, babysitting the handle, making sure a passing car doesn\u2019t squash my bottom, it\u2019s obvious to me that I could have thought this through a little better.<\/p>\n

So here I am one more time carefully weighing my options, remembering which side is which and divining which line of cars is the shortest. So I hesitate a little before taking aim at the \u201cleftist\u201d lane. JUST AS A GUY IN A BIG BLACK TRUCK RIPS OUT OF NOWHERE AND CUTS IN FRONT OF ME.<\/p>\n

Yes in the scheme of things, in a world that is rife with despair and people doing awful things to each other, this burst of mean-spiritedness is a non-starter. But at the picnic of life, it\u2019s not so much the bears that get me. It\u2019s the ants\u2026<\/p>\n

Almost immediately he pulls up to a pump. MY PUMP. As I wait MY turn. I glare at him. I want to burn him up with my eyes. I am on fricking fire.<\/p>\n

And he is glaring at me too. At ME! I watch him open his door\u2026glare<\/em>\u2026walk to the pump\u2026glare<\/em>\u2026do the credit card dance and gas up\u2026glare<\/em>. I watch my angry mind question his worthiness as a human being. His right to breathe air. But mostly I smash into the wall of my own psychology. My M.O. When I feel wronged, when I feel like someone has treated me in a rude, snarky\u00a0way, I feel terrible.\u00a0Terrible, terrible, terrible.<\/em><\/p>\n

But here\u2019s what usually happens: I back off. I want to make nice. I want everyone to get along. This is my M.O. too. I swallow that mouthful of anger and stuff it into my gut. As if getting it out of my face is my ticket to Happy Land.<\/p>\n

Not this time\u2026<\/p>\n

I look the guy straight in the eyes and say \u201cyou cut in front of me and that was very unkind.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI disagree.\u201d He retorts.<\/p>\n

I\u00a0disagreeeeee<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Uh-oh\u2026 Was he the star on his college debate team? Was he from a big family where it was dinnertime sport to argue your case over mom\u2019s pot roast and mashed potatoes?<\/p>\n

And he\u2019s not done… Now he makes it about me. That I was hesitating and didn\u2019t know which lane I was going to, so of course he drove around me. In other words, it is my fault.<\/p>\n

Oh, he\u2019s a\u00a0spin doctor<\/em>\u00a0too? He\u2019s off the hook, by golly, because I made him do it. By now my rational mind is missing in action. My head has turned into a drunk party.<\/p>\n

One voice says \u201cyeah, it\u2019s all your fault\u2026bad girl.\u201d
\nAnother interrupts \u201cnuh-uh, he\u2019s a jerk.\u201d
\nAnother chimes in \u201cbut the guy has a point.\u201d
\n\u201cYeah\u2026maybe\u2026but he won\u2019t even say \u2018I\u2019m sorry\u2019.\u2019\u201d
\n\u201cShut up.\u201d
\n\u201cNo, YOU shut up\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

The conversation blares on.<\/p>\n

If it was possible to lean a microphone against our heads and broadcast the internal conversations we have with ourselves, I think most of us would all be in jail.<\/p>\n

At least overnight\u2026<\/p>\n

I say nothing more to this man. Continuing our \u201cdiscussion\u201d would be an exercise in futility but I\u2019m sure my face registers utter dismay. A poker player I am not. I watch him roar out of the parking lot and tear down the street. Maybe he\u2019s late for work. Maybe his kid is in the hospital. Maybe he\u2019s a horse\u2019s ass. His left brake light is out and maybe he\u2019ll get pulled over by a cop and get a ticket. A really expensive ticket\u2026<\/p>\n

Maybe today I am taking things\u00a0too personally<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Towards the end of his life, philosopher Aldous Huxley wrote, \u201cIt’s a little embarrassing that after forty-five years of research & study, the best advice I can give people is to be a little kinder to each other.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mr. Huxley died in Los Angeles. In 1963. B.C. Before Costco.<\/p>\n

How do I respond to this moment\u2026and this one\u2026and this one? How can I know until it happens? How can I know if the answer is kindness? Or fire? Or both? If only I can remember to check in with my heart FIRST.<\/p>\n

If only I can remember where the fuel tank is\u2026<\/p>\n

______________________________________________<\/p>\n

PROGRAM NOTE for our California friends:<\/p>\n

My husband\u00a0Craig<\/a>\u00a0and I are doing a mini-ukulele tour (and mini-vacation) through Central California in mid-July:<\/p>\n

Friday, July 17, 2015<\/strong>: Morning workshop with the super fun\u00a0Funstrummers<\/a>\u00a0in Modesto. Everyone is welcome.<\/p>\n

\"funstrummers\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Saturday, July 18, 2015<\/strong>: Workshop and concert at the house of ukulele love,The Strum Shop<\/a>, in Roseville.<\/p>\n

\"strumshop\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Monday, July 20, 2015<\/strong>: Workshop and concert in San Jose at Atria Willow Glen. Workshop is 2:00 to 3:00 and Concert from 3:30 to 4:30 P.M. Everyone is welcome (Email me for details).<\/p>\n

Please join us. We would LOVE to see you and make music together.<\/p>\n

_______________________________________________________<\/p>\n

So I happen to glance at my horoscope for Wednesday, June 24, 2015 in the Los Angeles Times, just as I\u2019m composing this blog and it\u2019s like\u2026really<\/em>? The comedy just writes itself\u2026<\/p>\n

\"scorpio\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"smilecover<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oh dear. I know my semi-regular blogs have been, well,\u00a0not… What can I say? It\u2019s busy-busy here in Culver City. But then something happens that I \u00a0just have to write about. I go to Costco for gas. And my whole psychological spooky house loses a couple walls\u2026 It\u2019s early, before the big store rolls up the corrugated steel doors and a knot of eager shoppers push in with their giant carts. It\u2019s when the gasoline station is usually, shall we … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","kt_blocks_editor_width":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[111,112,113,114],"class_list":["post-1314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogentry","tag-aldous-huxley","tag-being-kind","tag-dealing-with-rude-people","tag-getting-gasoline-at-costco"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":2,"label":"blog entry"}],"post_tag":[{"value":111,"label":"Aldous Huxley"},{"value":112,"label":"being kind"},{"value":113,"label":"dealing with rude people"},{"value":114,"label":"getting gasoline at Costco"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Cali Rose","author_link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/author\/crbauthor\/"},"comment_info":16,"category_info":[{"term_id":2,"name":"blog entry","slug":"blogentry","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":139,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":2,"category_count":139,"category_description":"","cat_name":"blog entry","category_nicename":"blogentry","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":111,"name":"Aldous Huxley","slug":"aldous-huxley","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":111,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":112,"name":"being kind","slug":"being-kind","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":112,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":2,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":113,"name":"dealing with rude people","slug":"dealing-with-rude-people","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":113,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":114,"name":"getting gasoline at Costco","slug":"getting-gasoline-at-costco","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":114,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1314"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1423,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1314\/revisions\/1423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1314"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1314"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1314"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}