{"id":1541,"date":"2016-01-04T03:32:54","date_gmt":"2016-01-04T03:32:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/?p=1541"},"modified":"2016-01-04T17:50:33","modified_gmt":"2016-01-04T17:50:33","slug":"floaters","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/floaters\/","title":{"rendered":"FLOATERS"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"images\"I can\u2019t see the big \u201cE\u201d on the eye chart that hangs in the eye doctor\u2019s office. With my left eye, that is. Actually I can\u2019t even see the chart. I was a little girl when they first discovered my goofy left eye. Was it because I walked into walls now and then?<\/p>\n

Like most folks who have only one workable eye, I have adapted. I drive my car with ALL mirrors on high alert. I wear a headset microphone when I perform so I can use my good eye to see the ukulele fretboard. I\u2019m almost sure that my depth perception and your of depth perception are not the same. For a short time I took a softball class at the local junior college. I remember the P.E. teacher groaning loudly as I\u2019d swing the bat. Way before the ball arrived at\u00a0the plate. Maybe she thought I was on drugs or would do better with T-Ball. Or no ball at all.<\/p>\n

I bring this up because I worry about something happening to my good eye. My right eye. Because I don\u2019t have a spare. And that\u2019s how I end up in the Emergency Room at U.C.L.A. The day before New Years. It\u2019s our second trip to the E.R. in 2015.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m having a lovely day, doing errands. I like doing errands. I like watching my fellow people behaving in interesting ways in our natural habitat. Stores. Here I am at Target and I like Target. The lights cast a yellowish \u201cbuy me\u201d glow from above. Not like outside. And that is when I notice a throng of tiny gnats swarming in front of me. And a miniature Medusa head, tendrils and all, zigzagging to my right. Long waving filaments glistening to my left and a little puddle of goo straight ahead. \u00a0What the hell kind of promotion are they doing in Target today?<\/em> Then I realize I am experiencing my own private light show. In my good eye.<\/p>\n

I flash to the last time I visited my ophthalmologist. Before my eyes totally dilate, I am staring down the poster on the wall in the darkened waiting room. It\u2019s a \u201cbad news\u201d poster: \u00a0If you have these symptoms, get your ass to the doctor right NOW because you are screwed!<\/em> \u00a0Or something like that. Standing in the express line at Target, I am seeing BAD NEWS<\/em> and other stuff you might watch swim by in a dirty aquarium.<\/p>\n

Lots of us have \u201cfloaters\u201d in our eyes. Little knots of diaphanous pebbles that dance around the visual field. I\u2019ve had them for years. They come and mostly go or else my brain gives up and ignores them. But today in Target this is different. WAY different.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s why I\u2019m in the Emergency Room and very embarrassed because, come on, it\u2019s not like I\u2019m having a heart attack or I broke some bones, like my husband did a few months ago. I apologize from the get-go to anyone who will listen. \u201cMaybe it\u2019s just floaters\u2026but this is my only good eye<\/em>\u2026\u201d I whimper.<\/p>\n

But a generosity of kindness and goodwill pervade the E.R. on this pre-holiday afternoon. The doctors and nurses reassure me that I did the right thing. What if this is a worst-case scenario? What if my retina is detaching or tearing,\u00a0even\u00a0a little? Then time is of the essence to save my vision.<\/p>\n

They begin with an ultra-sound of my right eye. Wow, I didn\u2019t know there was such a thing? The doctor rubs the ultra-sound wand across my covered eye. Back and forth. She doesn\u2019t see a retina tear but calls in the expert anyway. A few minutes later an ophthalmology resident appears and dilates my eyes with an assortment of drops.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve never had an eye exam like this before. He warns me about the bright light he\u2019ll shine directly into my dilated eye and the \u201cpoking and pushing<\/em>.\u201d Ladies let\u2019s just say it\u2019s like having a mammogram on your eye. Okay? And it goes on and on. Like ten years worth of mammograms in one flesh-squashing session.<\/p>\n

Well I applaud the guy for his thoroughness and my husband for not keeling over. With his super-duper light probe, the doctor circles my retina as I aim my eyes at an imaginary clock on the ceiling. \u00a0One O’ Clock, Two O’Clock, Three O’Clock…<\/p>\n

\u201cI have good news for you,\u201d he finally says\u2026\"Unknown\"<\/p>\n

The gel in our eyes is called the vitreous and it\u2019s supposed to stay jello-like; but as we get older the gel begins to shrink and detach from its moorings. The retina. The official name for this is Posterior Vitreous Detachment.<\/p>\n

\"goofyeyes1\"<\/p>\n

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Apparently I\u2019m okay for now, although this is an interesting way to begin a new year\u2014watching spots and goo dance across the computer screen\u00a0as I write\u00a0this blog. I have a feeling my new ophthalmologist and I will be having regular meet and greets from now on. Maybe the flotilla of wiggling stuff will recede. Maybe not.<\/p>\n

So I\u2019m\u00a0keeping an eye<\/em>\u00a0on things. And that is not a pun. So no groaning. I\u2019m on the lookout for fireworks (not just a little sparkler but the grand finale of the July 4th Show) and a black curtain rolling down across my visual field. That<\/em> could be bad news indeed\u2014a detached retina.<\/p>\n

But why should I, or anyone, be surprised. Everything changes. Our points of view, our body parts\u2026 I\u2019m grateful I can still see and do and eat and love and be loved in return.<\/p>\n

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PROGRAM NOTE FOR MY LOS ANGELES FRIENDS<\/p>\n

Both my ukulele classes begin Saturday, January 23, 2016 at Boulevard Music<\/a> in Culver City, CA. I teach Ukulele For Beginners, which is a five-week workshop and our four-week OnGoing Ukulele Workshop & Jam where we strum, fingerpick and learn a lot of new cool stuff. Please scroll down to see the flyers.<\/p>\n

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POSTSCRIPT<\/p>\n

I am still receiving the most interesting responses to my last blog (THIS IS MY SEAT<\/a>) about Frank Sinatra. Thank you! My neighbor’s father was a well-known and respected photographer. He took this iconic picture of Frank at the Hollywood Bowl in 1943. Apparently Sinatra didn’t like photographers either but he wanted a copy of this shot.<\/p>\n

\"frankathollywoodbowl\"<\/p>\n

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I can\u2019t see the big \u201cE\u201d on the eye chart that hangs in the eye doctor\u2019s office. With my left eye, that is. Actually I can\u2019t even see the chart. I was a little girl when they first discovered my goofy left eye. Was it because I walked into walls now and then? Like most folks who have only one workable eye, I have adapted. I drive my car with ALL mirrors on high alert. I wear a headset microphone … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","kt_blocks_editor_width":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1541","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogentry"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":2,"label":"blog entry"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Cali Rose","author_link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/author\/crbauthor\/"},"comment_info":22,"category_info":[{"term_id":2,"name":"blog entry","slug":"blogentry","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":2,"category_count":138,"category_description":"","cat_name":"blog entry","category_nicename":"blogentry","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1541","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1541"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1541\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1562,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1541\/revisions\/1562"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1541"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1541"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1541"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}