{"id":684,"date":"2013-04-09T10:39:43","date_gmt":"2013-04-09T17:39:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/calirose.com\/blog\/?p=684"},"modified":"2013-04-09T10:39:43","modified_gmt":"2013-04-09T17:39:43","slug":"losing-a-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/losing-a-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"LOSING A FRIEND"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\"\"<\/a>
Cinda with her sons Scott and Steve<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

We were friends for a long time. Thirty years, give or take. We saw each other through her divorce and my marriage. And the whole galaxy of \u201clife events\u201d that happen–the surprises that come out of nowhere, the \u201csituations\u201d that drag on.<\/p>\n

Cinda had that \u201cjoy\u201d thing happening and she delivered it into every corner of her life. By the time we met, she was teaching and working with children. But Cinda loved to sing too and she was a natural. Big, brassy and fun. You couldn\u2019t help but grab your heart and smile as she shook her booty and belted out a Peggy Lee song.<\/p>\n

She sang for the kids at school and for seniors in retirement homes. I gave her piano lessons for a while and in later years, ukulele. \u201cThink about the logistics,\u201d I\u2019d say. \u201cIt\u2019s a lot easy to tote a ukulele to a gig than a piano.\u201d She also hooked up with the ohana at\u00a0Island Bazaar<\/a>, a sort of ukulele-central in Orange County, California. Shirley Orlando is the ukulele mama to hundreds of players who call Island Bazaar home.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the thing about the ukulele. Of course there is joyful music to be made. But even more than that, the uke grows families. My friend Cinda was warmly welcomed and embraced by her ukulele family, especially while she struggled mightily as cancer ravaged her body. But she didn\u2019t lose that sparkle and was able to strum a few chords, even near the end.<\/p>\n

Roger Ebert, the famed movie critic who recently passed away, became fascinated by Richard Dawkins’ theory that people give off mental units\u2014 memes\u2014that can move between us and spread like fire:<\/p>\n

“After a lifetime of writing, teaching, broadcasting and telling too many jokes, I will leave behind more memes than many. They will all also eventually die, but so it goes.”\u00a0(sourced from NPR)<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
A “toast” to Cinda!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I arrive early at Cinda\u2019s memorial service. Thank goodness because the chapel fills\u00a0quickly and overflows into the adjoining side rooms. The service is delayed because people keep coming until it is standing-room only. Late arrivals have to lean in through the open doors at the back. It is a striking demonstration how one person\u2019s presence in this life affects so many others.<\/p>\n

I sit with Shirley and Kona Don from Island Bazaar and we agree it absolutely sucks that Cinda isn\u2019t \u201chere\u201d to appreciate this outpouring of love and gratitude. Why can\u2019t we all have a \u201cthank you\u201d party while we\u2019re still alive? With cake, beer, kisses on the cheek and hearty pats on the back.<\/p>\n

The reverend shares a litany of Cinda stories, most of which I have never heard before. I am sensing a pattern here. Why didn\u2019t I know this or that about Cinda? I didn\u2019t know she packed zip lock bags with a little money, food, soap and handed them out to homeless people. I didn\u2019t know she had traveled extensively around the world. I didn\u2019t know that, almost single-handedly, she supported her local post office by writing and sending multitudes of greeting cards. I was a recipient of many thank-you, sorry-your-sick, I’m-thinking-about-you notes. But obviously her snail mail generosity was ubiquitous.<\/p>\n

During the service, her son reports that if you tried to return her generosity, she would \u201cretaliate.\u201d So here\u2019s the thing. Cinda was expert at turning the conversation away from herself and onto you. Let\u2019s face it, most of us like to talk about ourselves. Ha ha ha! And Cinda liked to hear all about it. And I fell for her loving trickery. So here I am, sitting in this padded pew, surprised\u00a0and<\/em>\u00a0disappointed in myself that I didn\u2019t know this woman better. After 30 years. That I hadn\u2019t asked more questions.<\/p>\n

After the service, we converge on Cinda\u2019s little bungalow nearby where the backyard is festooned with brightly colored table clothes and a generous array of food and drink. A five-person contingent from Island Bazaar sets up music stands and entertains us with ukulele music in honor of our friend. Cinda\u2019s \u201cmemes\u201d are rocking the place.<\/p>\n

Click here to watch the short video I took of them performing “It Had To Be You.”<\/a><\/p>\n

“We must try to contribute joy to the world,” said Roger Ebert. “That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.”<\/p>\n

I am hopeful that Cinda lived long enough to find out too.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>
The Island Bazaar Players let me sit in during the set and I get to play Cinda’s ukulele.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/em><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We were friends for a long time. Thirty years, give or take. We saw each other through her divorce and my marriage. And the whole galaxy of \u201clife events\u201d that happen–the surprises that come out of nowhere, the \u201csituations\u201d that drag on. Cinda had that \u201cjoy\u201d thing happening and she delivered it into every corner of her life. By the time we met, she was teaching and working with children. But Cinda loved to sing too and she was a … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","kt_blocks_editor_width":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-684","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogentry"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":2,"label":"blog entry"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Cali Rose","author_link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/author\/crbauthor\/"},"comment_info":3,"category_info":[{"term_id":2,"name":"blog entry","slug":"blogentry","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":139,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":2,"category_count":139,"category_description":"","cat_name":"blog entry","category_nicename":"blogentry","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/684","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=684"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/684\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=684"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=684"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=684"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}