{"id":692,"date":"2013-04-16T08:47:35","date_gmt":"2013-04-16T15:47:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/calirose.com\/blog\/?p=692"},"modified":"2013-04-16T08:47:35","modified_gmt":"2013-04-16T15:47:35","slug":"a-little-more-to-say-about-losing-a-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/a-little-more-to-say-about-losing-a-friend\/","title":{"rendered":"A LITTLE MORE TO SAY ABOUT “LOSING A FRIEND”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last week I shared the story of my long-time friend, Cinda<\/a>, who passed away on Easter morning and I received a bounty of heartfelt responses. Thank you! The people we love and who love us, the critters, the flowers on the window sill, the fresh strawberries in a bowl, the long-lived relationships, the bucks in the bank, the insights we file away on mental post-its\u2014they come and they go. It seems like there is a little goodbye in every hello.<\/p>\n

Thank goodness for denial, huh! But when we lose a friend, denial crashes into pieces. At least for a while…And I am reminded, in my gut, that friends are our treasures and if we are lucky, they hold up a mirror so we can see something new and good about ourselves. Too.<\/p>\n

\u201cTill the first friend dies, we think our ecstasy impersonal, but then discover that he was the cup from which we drank it, itself as yet unknown.\u201d \u00a0Emily Dickinson<\/p>\n

My husband Craig and I just returned from performing and teaching at the Reno Ukulele Festival and to tell you the truth, I was stunned to meet so many people who already receive AND read my blogs. They stop me in the elevator at the Nugget Hotel and by the slot machines, in Rosie\u2019s Cafe and in the bathroom, to share a few words. About their friends, about how it is for them. Saying goodbye is “our” story.<\/p>\n

After the big concert Saturday night in the Celebrity Showroom, as Craig and I are standing sentry at the \u201cCD\u2019s For Sale\u201d table, I see my ukulele friend Tonya, who lives in Paradise, California (yes\u2026there is a\u00a0paradise<\/em>). We talk about my blog and friendship. I tell her that I am beating myself up because after thirty years, it seemed like I hardly knew Cinda at all. During her memorial service, family and friends spoke eloquently about her jobs and volunteer work, how she ran in so many circles and was beloved by those who\u00a0ran<\/em>\u00a0in those circles with her. I didn\u2019t know this stuff. And I wish I had.<\/p>\n

Tonya reminds me that we mean different things to different people. Do we have the same relationship with a spouse that we do with a friend, or child, or\u2026? Actually it\u2019s a good thing, a life-affirming thing to discover the \u201cgreat big-ness\u201d of who we really are. It\u2019s just too bad it has to happen at a memorial service.<\/p>\n

When we’d get together, Cinda and I would talk about \u201cgirly\u201d stuff. We knew we weren\u2019t going to solve our problems, but talking about it over chicken tortilla soup at Hof\u2019s Hut made us feel better, so what the hell. I also gave Cinda piano and ukulele lessons so she could get out there and perform because she was a natural, a born entertainer. Eventually she did gigs in convalescent hospitals and retirement homes. I reminded her that “the audience won\u2019t remember what you sing or play, but they will remember how you made them FEEL.” Maybe that is why her attitude of \u201cjoy\u201d will live on in the hearts of those who knew her.<\/p>\n

And here\u2019s a blast of joy for you to take into your heart:<\/p>\n

This is the link to a short YouTube video of Cinda<\/a>, taken three months before she passed away, playing the ukulele and singing her \u201cgender-bending\u201d version of \u201cFive Foot Two.\u201d Another gift from Cinda. It will make you smile.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Last week I shared the story of my long-time friend, Cinda, who passed away on Easter morning and I received a bounty of heartfelt responses. Thank you! The people we love and who love us, the critters, the flowers on the window sill, the fresh strawberries in a bowl, the long-lived relationships, the bucks in the bank, the insights we file away on mental post-its\u2014they come and they go. It seems like there is a little goodbye in every hello. … Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","kt_blocks_editor_width":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-692","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogentry"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":2,"label":"blog entry"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Cali Rose","author_link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/author\/crbauthor\/"},"comment_info":2,"category_info":[{"term_id":2,"name":"blog entry","slug":"blogentry","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":138,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":2,"category_count":138,"category_description":"","cat_name":"blog entry","category_nicename":"blogentry","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/692","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=692"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/692\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=692"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=692"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=692"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}