{"id":7981,"date":"2022-04-02T19:25:25","date_gmt":"2022-04-03T02:25:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/?p=7981"},"modified":"2022-04-04T13:39:38","modified_gmt":"2022-04-04T20:39:38","slug":"a-smack-goes-viral-and-the-stories-we-tell","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/a-smack-goes-viral-and-the-stories-we-tell\/","title":{"rendered":"A SMACK GOES VIRAL AND THE STORIES WE TELL"},"content":{"rendered":"<style>.kb-image_7e345c-e8.kb-image-is-ratio-size, .kb-image_7e345c-e8 .kb-image-is-ratio-size{max-width:387px;width:100%;}.wp-block-kadence-column > .kt-inside-inner-col > .kb-image_7e345c-e8.kb-image-is-ratio-size, .wp-block-kadence-column > .kt-inside-inner-col > .kb-image_7e345c-e8 .kb-image-is-ratio-size{align-self:unset;}.kb-image_7e345c-e8 figure{max-width:387px;}.kb-image_7e345c-e8 .image-is-svg, .kb-image_7e345c-e8 .image-is-svg img{width:100%;}.kb-image_7e345c-e8:not(.kb-image-is-ratio-size) .kb-img, .kb-image_7e345c-e8.kb-image-is-ratio-size{padding-top:10px;}.kb-image_7e345c-e8 .kb-image-has-overlay:after{opacity:0.3;}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-image kb-image_7e345c-e8\"><figure class=\"alignleft size-full\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"320\" src=\"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/smackity-smack.png\" alt=\"the smack\" class=\"kb-img wp-image-7994\" srcset=\"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/smackity-smack.png 640w, https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/smackity-smack-300x150.png 300w, https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/smackity-smack-520x260.png 520w, https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/smackity-smack-260x130.png 260w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m watching the Academy Awards, answering emails and cleaning my desk. That\u2019s when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, sitting in the swanky front row with her husband Will Smith. The next presenter, Chris Rock, lays into her with a lame joke about her hair. She\u2019s rolling her eyes and looking very pissed-off. Hubby is laughing, kind of fakey-like. Until he isn\u2019t. That\u2019s when he bounds on stage, all huffy-puffy, and smacks Chris Rock in the noggin. My computer screen goes blank. OMG was that a comedy bit or was it for real? A few seconds later I see Chris Rock cradling his face and making a joke. Because he is a <strong>COMEDIAN.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\">This is what I\u2019m thinking: <br><em>I hope Will Smith has his therapist on speed dial.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What a Rorschach Test moment for humanity, huh. I am so devastated by Ukraine, overwrought about Covid and global warming. Add to that toxic politics, racism and a litany of other troubles. So I appreciate a news story that doesn\u2019t include annihilation or leaves me feeling utterly powerless. But as I watch that <em>smack<\/em>, something inside of me <em>crackles.<\/em> I think a lot of people are <em>triggered.<\/em> For a lot of different reasons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Suddenly old memories wash over me, starting with this one: I\u2019m in my early twenties, already working in piano bars and here I am, auditioning as a contestant on a new game show. One of the guest celebrities, a middle-aged comedienne, rags on me, making jokes about my appearance, especially my unruly red hair. All for laughs, of course, but I am mortified and her verbal volleys register quickly on my face. And not in a good OR entertaining way. In fact, after the show, she apologizes profusely and explains her process of <em>making funny<\/em>. At someone else\u2019s expense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lesson #1: Don\u2019t take it personally.<br>Lesson #2: It&#8217;s not personal.<br>Lesson #3: It&#8217;s probably about <em>them<\/em> and not <em>you.<\/em><br><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately I am taking this whole thing too personally to process any of these lessons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Fast forward. I am a middle-aged woman attending a five-day meditation retreat where everyone is supposed to be silent and follow the rules. Let me tell you about these retreats&#8230; The work is to <em>lean&nbsp;<\/em>inward. To <em>watch<\/em> the tangle of stories we tell ourselves. To <em>notice<\/em> how our emotions can go from calm to cuckoo and back again in one thirty-minute sit. To <em>get<\/em> cozy with the silence we desperately run from in our everyday life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not so easy&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But sometimes the clouds of our messy lives part, the sun shines through and butterflies circle overhead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Until they don\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s when the walls close in and the personal stuff gets really big, menacing even, and blown out of proportion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But at least the food is good\u2026.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Well no butterflies for me. Early into the retreat I overhear a couple participants saying something disparaging. <strong>About me.<\/strong> Never mind there is no talking here, <em>you jerks.<\/em> A match has been struck and suddenly my body is on freaking fire. It feels like I can ignite a hundred barbeques by just pointing my fingers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The storytelling has begun! My mother has arrived in my head along with a cast of others from my past. Many of us know how it feels to be the butt of a joke or worse, the victim of someone&#8217;s loathsome behavior. It feels awful and these awful feelings can go <em>unresolved<\/em>, <em>unprocessed<\/em> and stuffed deep into our bodies. For maybe a lifetime. Or until there is a really big fire.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019ve gotten angry in my life, but nothing like this. I am almost delirious with rage and my body is throbbing with a kind of energy that both terrifies and enlivens me. One thing for sure, the original verbal indiscretion, <em>whatever it was<\/em>, does not warrant this kind of feverish response.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It makes me wonder if I\u2019m tapping into something bigger than myself. A collective fury that is about this moment and a billion other moments that stretch back in time. Sounds a little <em>woo-woo<\/em>, huh. But I also know this power surge is not good for my health, that I\u2019m furious enough to <em>smack<\/em> someone and have to DO something to dissipate the energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I put on my sneakers and slam around the grounds. Up and down hills. Between buildings. Across parking lots. It takes all afternoon of <em>bam-bamming<\/em> over cement and through dirt for the anger to finally burn through and out of my body. I topple into my little retreat bed, a limp, exhausted mess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many years later, I am still processing what happened to me that day. I am very grateful for this experience and what I learned. &nbsp;I also hope it never happens again and can say the same thing about that <em>smack.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lesson #1: Don\u2019t take it personally.<br>Lesson #2: It&#8217;s not personal.<br>Lesson #3: It&#8217;s probably about <em>them<\/em> and not <em>you<\/em>.<br>Lesson #4: I don\u2019t have to believe everything I think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So let\u2019s enjoy our topsy-turvy lives and rejoice that a microphone isn\u2019t set up in our heads for everyone to hear!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-left\">___<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ever wonder &#8220;How To Stop Taking Things Personally&#8221;? Read all about it in this short article from Forbes Magazine. <a href=\"https:\/\/email.cloud.secureclick.net\/c\/1699?id=27324.51460.1.ea9ffe074b87a561c82aebd5532ca662\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">CLICK HERE<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019m watching the Academy Awards, answering emails and cleaning my desk. That\u2019s when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, sitting in the swanky front row with her husband Will Smith. The next presenter, Chris Rock, lays into her with a lame joke about her hair. She\u2019s rolling her eyes and looking very pissed-off. Hubby is laughing, kind of fakey-like. Until he isn\u2019t. That\u2019s when he bounds on stage, all huffy-puffy, and smacks Chris Rock in the noggin. My computer screen goes &hellip; <a class=\"kt-excerpt-readmore\" href=\"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/a-smack-goes-viral-and-the-stories-we-tell\/\" aria-label=\"A SMACK GOES VIRAL AND THE STORIES WE TELL\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":7994,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"none","_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","kt_blocks_editor_width":"","_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[238,241,239,240],"class_list":["post-7981","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blogentry","tag-anger","tag-meditation-retreats-and-being-with-anger","tag-unresolved-trauma","tag-will-smiths-academy-awards-show-smack"],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":2,"label":"blog entry"}],"post_tag":[{"value":238,"label":"anger"},{"value":241,"label":"meditation retreats and being with anger"},{"value":239,"label":"unresolved trauma"},{"value":240,"label":"Will Smith's Academy Awards Show Smack"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/04\/smackity-smack.png",640,320,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Cali Rose","author_link":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/author\/crbauthor\/"},"comment_info":98,"category_info":[{"term_id":2,"name":"blog entry","slug":"blogentry","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":137,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":2,"category_count":137,"category_description":"","cat_name":"blog entry","category_nicename":"blogentry","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":238,"name":"anger","slug":"anger","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":238,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":241,"name":"meditation retreats and being with anger","slug":"meditation-retreats-and-being-with-anger","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":241,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":239,"name":"unresolved trauma","slug":"unresolved-trauma","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":239,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":240,"name":"Will Smith's Academy Awards Show Smack","slug":"will-smiths-academy-awards-show-smack","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":240,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7981","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7981"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7981\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7997,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7981\/revisions\/7997"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7994"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7981"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7981"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/calirose.com\/wackyworld\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7981"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}